resignation letter

I drafted a resignation letter last March 31st. After much thinking, it is still here with me. Somehow, I find delight in rereading, rewriting, improving word choice. I just like fitting in very exact terms to say exactly what I mean. So blog, since you make up my readership, which, Iam very thankful for, read on.

Dear Sir,
I never voiced it out, but I have been contemplating on leaving since March 31, weighing things for the past weeks. In light of the tsunami in Japan, my parents observably not getting any younger, and my two nephews and niece growing up fast, I decided that I want to spend more time with them. Each time I see you sir, push the wheelchair your mother sits on, I remember my own.
I am thinking of starting a small reading center at home to enable me to stay close to my parents and personally teach my two nephews and my niece. Should that plan be a bit premature or hasty, I would still love to teach, but this time, in a school closer to home so that I will be consistently punctual and get home early even if I want to work long hours. If I am assigned to teach in preschool, it must be in a setting which allows the practice of progressive methods as this matches my experience and beliefs about instruction so that I can modify instruction, possibly deviate from pen and paper tasks and ultimately, respond effectively to both regular kids and those mainstreamed children with special needs.
I am very grateful for the teaching assignment you gave me last schoolyear. Firsts are truly memorable. Above all, thank you for giving me the chance to be a part of the lives of the grade five students. A lot from my advisory class are smart and have so much potential. As I write, I can’t help but remember Louie, Audrey, Marco, Hendrick, Sophiya, Morgan, Calvin, A.J. Regio, Genesis, Sam, Chelsee, Joaquin, and DJ among others. They will undoubtedly remember the times I was distant, to the point of being stiff, but its simply because I cared so much about them. I purposely kept my distance to show that I meant business.
Most from Grade 5- Faith were both academic and competitive, and would do everything to get the highest score. I told them that their fiercest competition is really themselves-how they begin and how they end each schoolyear. I also told them that real competition happens each time they fight against procrastination and mediocrity within. I know very well for it is a daily battle raging within me. I challenged them to enlarge their arena and compete with other grade five students from around the world. We also learned about the noblesse oblige- that nobility obliges. I told them that should they reach a position of influence in the future; by virtue of education or social status, they must have a sense of duty to help better the lives of those around them. I had the opportunity to share an article from December of last year, on filial piety, which our pastor’s daughter brought home after five years in China. It was a tale of grown-up siblings, real men, who built a carriage they carried on their backs to comfortably enable their mother to see the sights of China without having to experience motion sickness that go with riding cars.
Homeroom was an avenue for us to learn from the handicapped Nick Vuyijic; the king without a crown, Tanzanian Olympian John Stephen Akhwari, who, despite badly cutting his knee and dislocating his joint, pressed on to finish the Summer Olympics in 1968. When asked by a reporter why he continued running, he said simply, "My country did not send me 5,000 miles to Mexico City to start the race. They sent me 5,000 miles to finish the race." One personal favorite was the youtube clip “The Bridge,” an excellent, modern-day portrayal of John 3:16.
Grade 5-Hope may have lacked the strive for academic excellence the other class had, but they were kind, helpful, and never did things out of obligation, but of pure passion. Inspite of being very noisy altogether, they were a happy bunch.
I hope that in the near future, there would be a more effective way to monitor the surge of emotions our pre-adolescents are going through. They are very curious. I tried to enter their world so I will know who they really are, and hopefully, influence them in a positive way. Along with the benefits of accessing helpful information via the Internet, they might be getting poison as well, or simply overwhelming information they are unprepared for. I guess, the best antidote is to instill in them an inner compass that will guide them in making the right choices stemming from a strong sense of right and wrong as the Bible dictates. I believe that if all of them are guided properly, most especially, ushered into the faith, they can be significant contribution to society someday.
My prayers go with Pace Academy, you sir, Mrs. Lao, and Teachers Elijah and Wesley.

feeding the five thousand

In churches, it is very common to hear exhortation on the boy giving all he had,his pieces of fish and his loaves of bread. Two things I learned from this passage of scripture. First, the bread and fish the boy had came from Jesus in the first place. Second, there was no specific account on the quality of the bread and the fish. Was it stale bread? two-day old? moldy at that? What about the fish? Was it of the best quality? My point is, when the fish and bread were given to Jesus, it was transformed to superb quality. In the hands of Jesus, the fish and bread became the best.

Same with our efforts on anything. We may, in the eyes of the world lack the standards they have set but when we turn our all to Jesus, humbly recognizing that the very things we offer to God came from Him, He radically transforms these offerings so that they will be of the best quality, far beyond what we had, have and can even attain in our finite strength.

Praise God to Whom all blessings flow.

Kong Hee

We have been blessed subscribers of Destiny Cable. We decided to shift subscription and settled for a cheaper cable network provider. My brother and I want to learn Mandarin. Destiny Cable offers several channels in Mandarin. MOre than all these, we wanted a christian channel to be on our cable tv. We have Daystar now.

We used to subscribe to Sky Cable. It was alright until they decided to terminate TCT Network. We feed on preachings from cable TV.

I wonder why my blog is entitled Kong Hee.

Its just that Iam realizing that my current church is in the perils of getting sidetracked from the main thing, when our senior pastor was often quoting that "we have to keep the main thing the main thing the main thing."

In our church's efforts to build the Filipino's identity and to elevate her status alongside the great nations of the world, it appears that the preaching on the pulpit has been making nationalism central and the bible peripheral. It is so dangerous I know. For all we know, it might be the devil's subtle work. Are we doing things in our own strength? Have we forgotten Jesus' finished work on the cross?

Its not really about making our race the best in the world, its making disciples of all nations-the great mandate after all.

Kong Hee, a minister in Singapore is very modern, has a dynamic church and they are very explicit about Jesus. The preaching is on Jesus, the bible..not a bit of nationalism. I know Singaporeans do not need this kind of preaching but still, the two hours allotted for preaching becomes a myriad of opinion, footages extolling nations, cultures, when really, the central teaching should be about the bible and Jesus.

I feel very sad about all these.

I know I should pray.

No one to talk to about these things and so I rave, rant, ramble here on this page.

I give YOu my burdens Lord.

In Jesus Name, amen.

Never think less of yourself, but think of yourself less

May the beauty of the Lord our God rest on us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

I read somebody's blog about beauty from within.. and I couldn't help agree with the author. My father is of Chinese descent, my mother's lineage traces its roots to British ancestry. This explains the puzzled look on the faces of Red Cross volunteers. They were wondering why my blood type is different. I look very Asian and yet, flowing through my veins is a blood type prevalent among Whites. I guess, this can be explained through my mother's background.

This explains the title above.

Early morning yesterday, prior to my stumbling across that blog, I came across this particular verse of scripture, "May the beauty of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us- yes, establish the work of our hands."

At the end of the day, what truly matters is the beauty of the Lord our God resting on us. It would'nt be for external appearance, but rather, His imago dei in us. Too often, we are lured to conform and pattern our standards after the world's, but really, God's standards are different.

Yes Lord, may Your beauty rest on me, establish the work of my hands. I have a call, I am very sure, and I will triumph at the work of Your hands. My giftings, my talent, Your working through me is simply because You will use me for great things I know not of, beyond my expectations.

Hide me Lord, in the shadow of Your wings as I call things that are not as though they were.

The Lord is my Shepherd

Its 1:21 A.M. I was crying while on my way to Mercury Drugstore. I was glad it was a bit past midnight. Shops were closed and my only companions were dimly lighted lamp posts on either side of Mother Ignacia.
Without Kleenex on hand,I rolled the sleeves of my sweater to a convenient three-fourths and wiped my cheeks dry.

I must learn how to teach early reading in Filipino. While I was doing my thesis, I came across astounding but very vital statistics-more than 90% of Filipino school children go to public school... and I've seen public school...

After Masters, I sought employment in a Christian Chinese school with a small class size. I wanted to learn some Mandarin,discover the secret behind the rise of China as a superpower, and, of course, last but not the least, to better my craft.

My long term plan is to apply everything in the public school...

feverish

Its a bit past 7pm and Aidan's home with Grace. And I have been wondering why I am feeling weird the whole morning. Turns out I have slight fever. I think so. Aidan has it a bit full blown.

I've been feeling funny the whole day. I know I should attribute this mood swing to something-was it carbohydrate overload? pasta and brownies is a deadly combination, I guess. Sugar rush might be the culprit.

Amidst all the festivities and the trimmings, I feel empty I don't know why. I guess its a time to seek within. Why do I feel that Iam not yet in God's perfect will for my life.. and so I wait, I wait for God to open doors and as I wait Lord, help me wait with faith and expectancy.

I want to go out to be with friends but somehow, I feel like I should not, and I prefer to stay home and be with me first. iwonder if that sounds selfish, but its really what I want to do first.

Did my post have a lot of "I's" in it?

Is this self-centeredness altogether? There are a lot of things to lift up to God- Lord remind me to be thankful for the million and one things that Your grace has so generously bestowed upon us.

I know that how I feel should never be used as a yardstick to measure Your truths, Your promises and this is where faith enters.

Lord, I know that You are in control, help me in my unbelief.
Thank You because You died for that too.

Later blog.

Thanks for hearing me out..

after the holidays

I should have written "after the holiday.." I mean, the Christmas holiday. I ate a lot yesterday. A bit salty potato salad and quite sweet fruit salad, dehydrated pancit,ever faithful lechon manok, blueberry cheesecake and brownies, laing with visible fist-sized pork fat, some grape juice, lots of oranges. Yes. burp burp. Nah. I didnt even taste laing. It was swimming in pork lard. Tita Cher brought ham and some cheese. Both tasted good.

Let me reach for another brownie before I continue writing this post. I decided to settle for a cupcake instead..

Im listening to preaching on "Knowing God's Perfect Will.." I am at this stage of my christian life when I am becoming impatient with myself. I desire to know God more and more.. I want to know Him more, I want to know His perfect will for my life and I want to be in it. As I type, I wonder if I am in it. "Lord, am I in Your perfect will right now?"

Better concentrate on my listening..

Later blog.