feverish

Its a bit past 7pm and Aidan's home with Grace. And I have been wondering why I am feeling weird the whole morning. Turns out I have slight fever. I think so. Aidan has it a bit full blown.

I've been feeling funny the whole day. I know I should attribute this mood swing to something-was it carbohydrate overload? pasta and brownies is a deadly combination, I guess. Sugar rush might be the culprit.

Amidst all the festivities and the trimmings, I feel empty I don't know why. I guess its a time to seek within. Why do I feel that Iam not yet in God's perfect will for my life.. and so I wait, I wait for God to open doors and as I wait Lord, help me wait with faith and expectancy.

I want to go out to be with friends but somehow, I feel like I should not, and I prefer to stay home and be with me first. iwonder if that sounds selfish, but its really what I want to do first.

Did my post have a lot of "I's" in it?

Is this self-centeredness altogether? There are a lot of things to lift up to God- Lord remind me to be thankful for the million and one things that Your grace has so generously bestowed upon us.

I know that how I feel should never be used as a yardstick to measure Your truths, Your promises and this is where faith enters.

Lord, I know that You are in control, help me in my unbelief.
Thank You because You died for that too.

Later blog.

Thanks for hearing me out..

after the holidays

I should have written "after the holiday.." I mean, the Christmas holiday. I ate a lot yesterday. A bit salty potato salad and quite sweet fruit salad, dehydrated pancit,ever faithful lechon manok, blueberry cheesecake and brownies, laing with visible fist-sized pork fat, some grape juice, lots of oranges. Yes. burp burp. Nah. I didnt even taste laing. It was swimming in pork lard. Tita Cher brought ham and some cheese. Both tasted good.

Let me reach for another brownie before I continue writing this post. I decided to settle for a cupcake instead..

Im listening to preaching on "Knowing God's Perfect Will.." I am at this stage of my christian life when I am becoming impatient with myself. I desire to know God more and more.. I want to know Him more, I want to know His perfect will for my life and I want to be in it. As I type, I wonder if I am in it. "Lord, am I in Your perfect will right now?"

Better concentrate on my listening..

Later blog.

Glory be to God in the highest. Peace on earth and goodwill to men.

Dear Blog,

Its been a while. You always get bumped off due to my hectic schedule as an elementary school teacher here in a school in Araneta, Quezon City. I wonder why God has led me here. I know He has a purpose. Foremost,teaching here was an answered prayer. Right after school, I wanted to be employed in a Chinese christian school with a small class size. My principal asked me to demo-teach in a class of 15 grade five students and so I became excited. Right now, I have 25 students in all and it is my first time to teach in such a setting. Im beginning to get the hang of what we do here, and the school year is almost over.

I hear Sadie crying. I wonder why.. I better go down to check on her. I miss blogging, capturing my musings in this square online sheet to be read by no one else but me.

Meanwhile, I better get going. I am going downstairs to check on mum and pop, also the kiddie-does, they are crying, must be sleepy.

Your grace is sufficient for me, Your strength is made perfect in my weakness, Oh Lord.