Everything for the Gospel

Its 8:58 in the morning, and its been quite a while since I've posted something here. I'm playing "Home Where I Belong" by B.J. Thomas. I'm feeling a bit rotten right now. I promised to help my friend Apple to tutor these two Koreans, still in highschool. One behaves well but the other is quite a spoiled brat frankly speaking. The "me, myself and I" type. Its hard. I actually took this job not for the pay alone (though that would be helpful right now..) but to understand the Korean culture more since I have a niece in Korea and so that I can communicate better with my sister who lives there. I also wanted to take a break from teaching very young kids. Sometimes, I feel like I am beginning to sound like them and I need to be with people older than me, or my age so I will learn to speak the language of the now. I do enjoy it but the content is all new. I have to study Chem and Math altogether and the last time I opened Chem and Trigonometry books was 1995. Phew! That is a good fifteen years. I still remember some terms and some math but boy, oh boy, I seem to be rusty at these now. feel awful not being able to answer all their questions correctly because I am not an authority.

I want to QUIT right now. I am praying about it. There is even a better offer. The mom of my former student is calling me up. Their house is nearer, the pay is better. We can begin and end early too.

Its a long travel from my house. The class ends at 9 p.m. which is followed by a long walk along shanties set in a dark road made visible by headlights of passing cars.

Suddenly I remember what my brother used to tell me, "everything for the gospel.." and so now, I come to God, and as I write, my heart prays that I will not leave for comforts sake but because it will further the gospel in their lives. They need someone who can help them with their academics and maybe, I am not that person.

I also do not want to put the Philippines in a bad light. A teacher like me who can't answer all their questions. A Filipino teacher who is accepting measly pay. Can my God not find me a better paying job?

Then again, I did want this experience. I did want this learning adventure. Is this the price to pay for a new experience?

I better go now. Off to the post office, and then back to SM.